Excuse me for playing the VH1 card, but I love the ‘90s.
The decade once-removed molded me into the all-over-the-place bro I am today (yielding both guilty pleasures and an embarrassingly self-assured love for Nicktoons).
As tribute, I shall spread the love for the decade that guided me from four to 14 with forgotten music videos, gawdawful film (clips) and other media that best represent my interpretation of the blessed ‘90s.
Music Videos You’ve Almost Certainly Forgotten
First up, I see no better way to kick off anything ‘90s-related than with some good-old ninja fighting. You’re welcome in advance.
If you’ve permitted yourself the sin of forgetting “Peaches” by the Seattle-based Presidents of the United States of America, then you’re deserved of a night-ending triple punch. The PUSA—featuring a possibly Samoan, more slender Jack Black on drums—rocked the simple chords and catchy hooks as hard as Weezer, but with a lot more next-door-neighbor style.
Hence, they received much less love. Shame.
Movies Only a Privileged Few Would Actually Enjoy
The title doesn’t make sense. The premise had been done 6,314 times (even back in the Nagano Olympics days). And it starred the ever-buxom Jennifer Love Hewitt.
No, it’s isn’t “I Know What You Did Last Summer”, it’s the much edgier “Can’t Hardly Wait.” A film about a 1,461-day crush (math adjusted for leap year) that further segregates fictional high-school graduating classes as nerds, jock, stoners, hotties, and overzealous yearbook hounds. Thanks to Seth Green, there’s also a group of white guys doing their best impression of black guys.
Two portions of this movie always stand out to me, and neither involves Barry Manilow or LoveBurger.
Siggy from “What About Bob?” all grown up, belting out GnR’s classic “Paradise City.” Even better? The I’ll-be-the-band-dudes! guy introducing the song. Love the drum thrust.
Sadly enough, one of my favorite movie scenes of all time. Never realized Jason Segel played the guy getting down on that watermelon.
Maybe because he wouldn’t be relevant for the next nine years. Or because he wasn’t whipping out his dong. Either way.
People You Knew Existed Solely Because the ‘90s Wanted You To Know
The douchiest character from the biggest movie of the decade.
Remember Billy Zane? I’m sure you didn’t care if you forgot him, but you’re welcome again. Before playing Caledon Hockley in “Titanic,” he was “The Phantom.”
He’s starred in “Leprechaun’s Revenge,” “Sniper Reloaded” and “The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption.” And that, kids, is why you don’t move to Hollywood.
‘Til next time.